Member-only story
How to Influence, Not Manipulate
Dear Eli, Frankie and team, thanks for the follow-up questions to our group coaching session on “Aristotle’s Influence Model”. What is the difference between influencing and manipulation? How do we influence without sounding like we’re being manipulative? Very valid questions.
The truth is, it’s a slippery slope. Sometimes we witness powerfully influential people manipulate others. That’s because the skills for influencing is the same for manipulating. Both skilled influencers and manipulators are adept at understanding human nature and what motivates or threatens people to make decisions and actions. From influencer to manipulator, it’s up to that person whether or not to cross that line.
So what’s that fine line between influence and manipulation?
The conventional explanation is, it’s the intent. If the intent is for mutual benefit or for the benefit of the other, then it’s good, it’s influencing. If the intent is for one’s personal gain or selfish purpose, i.e. make someone do what’s good for oneself but not necessarily for the other, then it’s evil, it’s manipulating.
